A Tale of Two Sofas

A picture is worth a thousand words . . . the only problem is that the picture must have the exact same perspective and lighting which these two pictures do not.

• We have recently owned 2 new sofas. Since comfort, I would venture to say, is most important to Bill, he helped me pick out Sofa A, the one on the left, although not in that exact fabric. It definitely was the most comfortable and came from LazBoy or however the stupid heck they spell it. So I ordered it in a fabric similar to the floral and waited 6 or 7 weeks for it to arrive. When they told me it was in, I quickly sold my old sofa on Craigslist for $50. Craigslist is a free internet classifieds service. At that price I was able to sell it in one day, basically an amusing story in itself. When the sofa arrived, they brought the cushions out of the truck first and I knew it was wrong. I told the delivery guys it looked wrong; they told me the store would make it right and delivered the sofa anyway. But nicely; it was not their mistake. The caramel-colored floral fabric did not go with the sagish/grayish new carpeting we had just bought and I had brought the fabric sample home to coordinate with, but not being 100% sure of anything I do these days, I said to Bill we better head to the store to be sure the other color of fabric existed.

• After arriving at LazBoy and thankfully finding the other floral pattern (called stone, which had more green in it), we were asked if we could basically cool our heels until our saleslady arrived in 20 min. When she did, she apologized, but underneath the exterior veneer lurked the unspoken suspicion that we were nuts. I was in great pain that day, which along with stressful events of the past couple of weeks created "the perfect storm" as the saying goes. When she declared (with a nervy, but Southern smile) that they would not charge us a delivery fee for redelivery of the correct sofa, let's just say it wasn't pretty. I slammed down our credit card and said "no, you're not going to charge us any delivery fee ($89) and you're going to take it off our credit card and that's going to happen right this minute." While she gave me another one of her heretofore "deer in the headlight" looks, the store manager quickly responded, "we can do that."

• To make a long story short, it was a Saturday, and they were going to reorder the sofa for us in the correct fabric, but I decided I wasn't totally crazy with the construction of the one I had just had delivered, so on Sunday, Bill and I went to Haverty's furniture store and picked out Sofa B on the right. It came in Sage and cost $600 less and while I loved my original fabric, I decided I didn't want to go without a sofa for 7 weeks (remember last time I had a sofa on which to sit) and I hated LazBoy at this point, even though my Mother has taught me never to use the word "hate." So I do cringe to even type it.

• From Haverty's I called LazBoy and told them to "just forget about ordering the new sofa ; I needed to find a sofa to sit on sooner than 7 weeks." They weren't pleased. But then I wasn't pleased that they could have ordered the wrong fabric color when it only came in two colors to begin with and I hadn't even looked at the other one!

• But, I write about this to bring up a larger life phenomenon that I have sadly noticed. I have decided that when people speak of being "over the hill" at age 50, they are correct. There really is a Hill. All those other sayings such as "you are only as old as you feel" and "the secret to staying young is to lie about your age" and "aging is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and growth" and Robert Browning's "grow old with me; the best is yet to be." I could go on and on. They glamourize aging, but is it not because we feel the need to?

• As I look back on the decorating dreams of my 20s, how different they are from my 60s. Then, I cut out pictures from Better Homes and Gardens (it's still around!) and romanticized how my home would look. Beauty only was sought; now I find comfort with non-ugly the goal. What truths do I find here? That my aches and pains have become paramount? I need a reclining sofa now that I have crested the Hill? That I no longer have the stamina to pursue beauty + comfort = perfection. That what I now need = good enough? That the macabre truth is that you downsize until the final room you decorate is a pine box or smaller? Perhaps, then, it is true that old age is when you "chose the cereal for the fiber and not the toy." (author unknown). I recently bought Cheerio's that contained a mechanical Batman action figure. I felt very good that day. Just ask Bill; he's already played with it!